Like many average folks out there approaching 40, thanks to work, family life, and generally trying to deal with a weekly existential crisis, I find myself with less free time than ever before. But on the rare occasion I stumble across such a window of opportunity, it’s an exhilarating moment. However, I’m then faced with a very high-stakes choice – what to do with the freedom?
I’m very selective about how I spend these opportunities, so I caught myself off guard this past week when, in the dying hours of Sunday evening, I opted to use my last chance to relax before the working week began... by re-arranging my DVD and Blu-ray collection.
I was clearing up the lounge and realised they were all horrifically out of order. I tried to ignore it, I really did, but the fact was, the awareness of this chaos started to envelop me like some kind of alien symbiote, speaking in a voice that only I could hear: “You can’t go to bed with them like this. What kind of sub-human bottom feeder would even allow this to happen in the first place?” The voice was right. I couldn’t let it go. I proudly exclaimed to my wife that she had free rein of the TV for Sunday night because I… I had work to do.
I rolled up my non-existent sleeves (I was in my pyjamas) and surveyed the library of mess before me. A new dilemma had reared its head… how do I arrange them? Is this a straight-up A-B alphabetising scenario? What about genre? Director? Do those things not matter? I couldn’t possibly have six Alien movies next to each other and then Prometheus almost a light-year away on the shelf. Surely every movie in a franchise should be next to each other, no matter their place in the alphabet. Then, what about boxsets? The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit, do we consider the 'The'... where do I put a one-disc limited series like 1998's Killer Net starring Paul Bettany... and all my live concert dvds… this is a serious situation that needs to be approached with logic but full respect for the sanctity of sagas, anthologies, and the like.
Don’t kid yourself. I know there are plenty of you out there like me. You can feel the chill in your bones that only a disorganised movie or book collection can elicit. The way they’re arranged matters, and it matters so much that I was prepared to sacrifice relaxing on the sofa in my final moments of the weekend. Here’s the thing though: the act of organising them is what relaxed me. It took a solid hour or so, and I was explaining to my wife along the way (while she tried to watch TV) why something was going where. Each time I announced the reasoning behind my thinking, she would sympathetically acknowledge me with loving eyes that I couldn’t help noticing were tinted with a drop of pity. We all make sacrifices in marriage. It’s about compromise. Accepting me in this moment was just one of the ways she lets me be me, even though I know she couldn’t care less about why it’s imperative to me that the Tarantino boxset has the individual releases of Django Unchained, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood and The Hateful Eight next to it.
When all was said and done, I just sat and gazed at the diverse array of spines for what felt like an eternity. My eyes danced back and forth: A-B, boxset to boxset. Did I make the right choice? Was this arrangement what’s best for the discs? For now, it would have to do. I felt lighter. The demon from earlier in the evening had been exorcised, and I could rest easy this night. The next time I opened this cupboard, hunting down something to enjoy during another of those rare moments of free time, I would know where to look.
So, how do you arrange yours? I welcome tips, tricks, and secrets that may enrich my next sorting session.
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